The minute you were born, you were exposed to gender stereotypes.
You probably were either wrapped in a blue or pink blanket and automatically, your parents associated these colors with the gender you are. As you age, you pick up many other beliefs about how girls are boys are "supposed" to act and what is socially acceptable.
For example, girls play with dolls and make-up while boys play with cars and trucks. Even as you enter your teen, young adult and adult lives, you will be constantly confronting gender stereotypes and social mysteries.
Your social-circle of friends, your peers, your siblings and the mass media will all offer many different views of gender identity and development. Some of these influences will demonstrate positive theories and some negative stereotypes, but it's your choice to decide what's right. Because our modern culture is more open to change, a lot of stereotypes like, men go to work and women stay at home are being broken.
These thoughts have been inspired by my latest read, Cycler, by Lauren McLaughlin. Cycler tells the exciting story of a teenage girl who morphs into a boy four days out of the month and is a completely different person. Jill and Jack's journeys both focus on typical things that occur during the adolescent years, and also show how teenage boys and girls socially interact.
Now I'm looking for thoughts from you! What are some of the gender stereotypes you've been confronted with? How are you looking to fight them? Do you notice any gender stereotypes mentioned in Cycler? Do you think any of the characters fought any stereotypes?
Comments
As my brothers and I get older, we are experencing more responsibilities and one of my brothers sees certain household chores to be a womans job. I believe that is a very old fashioned, narrow-minded way of life. Woman and men are both capable of doing the same things, minus reproducing. The world is changing, we have to be willing to change with it also. With that said, we have to teach the younger generation that as a world, we must not descriminate. We women see it as an excuse for not being able to do something by saying it is a man's job and men use the excuse of something being a woman's job to get out of doing it. This world sure is lazy.
In High School, girls get get steryotyped alot. They are "supposed to" be pretty and have bodies that look like toothpicks. When you don't then you're different. Girls are also "supposed to" love cheerleading and wearing short skirts and showing things off. Once again, when a girl is really into sports or like me, despises the cheerleaders, you are considered weird by those who think differently.
I agree with orlifan. When I was younger I was definately different than all my friends. I was supposed to be playing with dolls, having tea parties, playing with make-up, etc., and while I did do those things, if you gave me the choice of going to a tea party or going and playing out in the woods with my friend (who was a boy, I've always gotten along better with boys, even now) and getting dirty, I would pick playing in the woods. I don't think there should be sterotypes. There's nothing wrong with girls not minding getting dirty sometimes, and not showing everything off.
There are girls that enjoy cheerleading; nothing wrong with that. There are boys that enjoy football; nothing wrong with that. Boys can enjoy gymnastics, and girls enjoy football; nothing wrong with that, either. Really, I think gender barriers are dissoling faster everyday. Yeah, we still face some stereotypes; but as more and more girls and boys do what they want regardless of what is "appropriate" for their sex, the stereotypes get more and more outdated and stupid... I mean, there are more female millionaire and entrepreneurs than males, and just as many girls play sports these days as their male counterparts.
So while gender barriers still exist, I think we're all doing our parts to bring them down :)
I don't really care what other people say. I know, I wear boy clothes. So what! It doesn't bother me. And I think that women should stay home and do household chores, such as cleaning and caring for the children. That's what I am going to do when I get older. You can still do different things at home. I just don't think it is right for children to grow up in day cares and such because they aren't getting raised by their parents. Other people are raising them, and the parents don't care! It just makes their job easier. That's why when I get married and have kids, I will raise them in our own home.
ya i've been in somtin like that, i am not girly at all ya i do my nails and put lipp gloss on but i am more of a tomboy and some said i can't skateboard, and play guitar and i also can't fight (i do selfdefence classes) but i can be anything i want to be and the can bug off (ok i used something different then bug off) but i think it's my life and i can be what i want.
I have not read Cycler. It looks boring to me. But that doesn't mean I can't comment on gender stereotypes.
It seems like everyone tries to fit me into one of their boxes, but I just am not at all stereotypical. Most often, I get labeled as 'acts tough but is really a softy and probably has a secret crush that she's just too proud to admit to'. They just don't seem to get that stereotypes are for pathetic losers who don't really care what people really are. And they say I'M stuck in my own little world!
I am a girl, wish I was a boy, have never had a crush but has the misfortune of having my favorite characters be the ones everyone else is all kerswoon over, dislike reading about girls, prefer reading about boys, hate showers and am a tomboy. NOT A STEREOTYPICAL TOMBOY WHO LIKES SPORTS.
Okay, I think that about covers everything.
I have three brothers, plus another adopted brother. I'm the only girl and the youngest. Even my brothers kids are all boys! Plus I live with my dad. So it's boys all around me. I definitely see gender stereotypes everyday. My brothers went through some hard things before I was born, and that's caused them to give into stereotypes even more- they get into fights all the time, they will never admit when they want to cry. I am probably half-and-half on the stereotypes. My room is pink, and there are splotches of neon colors everywhere, barbies on the shelves, stuffed animals strewn all over the bed and floor, fabrics hanging from every direction. I cook and sew, and take care of the pets. I definitely don't look or act like a perfect little lady though. I haven't bought new clothes in years, I just don't care about them. I rarely wear shoes. My hair is a big poofy ball. But that's ok, because I'm being myself. I wish my brothers would try that sometime.
I don't experience too many stereotypes about myself. People assume in school that I am a genius just because I get excellent grades.They also expect me to do the work for them; that is not going to happen. I take pride in who I am, and I like helping people with who THEY are. There is no judgement from me, and I become friends with anyone. I don't appreciate the fact that many people are stereotyped. One of my best friends is a girl, and her father always makes her do 'woman's work' while her brother watches TV or plays with his toys. I think people should stand up for WHO they are and not follow certain guidelines on how to live based off of appearance or gender.
I think that girls really do get stereotyped more. Women are not supposed to be intelligent, or be able to do things by themselves. I find that to be the worst stereotype of them all, because it limits women. I feel that everyone should have to choice to do whatever they want, regardless of their gender.
Stereotypes are awful. People tend to stereotype me as being the innocent, quiet, flute-playing, smart girl that does anything people tell her to do. YEAH RIGHT. Ha, I am NOT quiet or innocent and I am the most stubborn person you probably will ever meet. Just because I'm smart and play the flute/piccolo, people just associate me as being a "girly girl." Which bothers me. I'm not the stereotypical girl, and I'm not the stereotypical tomboy either. I'm just me. And people need to learn to accept that.
Stereotypes annoy me a lot. I'm a guy who doesn't like most sports Especially football. It seems silly to me. People think I'm weird just because I don't fit in thier molds and don't want to do what they want to do.
I hate sterotypes.The people that sterotype you have no idea what your personality is like.I am a complete tom boy.I love trucks and cars ,All sports.But I am ofton told that I should act more lady like.I always reply to this saying``define lady like``.Because no a days ``lady`` will act however they like ,it is called equal rights.It is not the 1900`s anymore.
Thanks for all the great comments everyone! It seems like we have all had very similar issues and were able to find ways to work through them. It seems like there is a lot of diiferent ways to cope with these sort of things. Does anyone wish to share one way that they cope with being stereotyped ?
-Buzzinteen
I agree with GirlwiththeBraids. When I am married and have children, I am going to be a stay at home mom. Being a stay-at-home mom isn't just a way to chain down women and keep them out of sight, it's a privilage and responsibility that was given to women, just as men were given the responsibility to provide. You might disagree, but think of this first: As main care-givers to children, women influence the future generations. We teach them our believes and our morals which they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. We are shaping the future! Don't you think that the future presidents, senitors, governors, business owners, and just people in general should be taught these things by a loving mother? As for the fathers, don't the future leaders of the world need a roof over their heads. Don't they need to be taught good work ethics, and how to earn money? We don't want the next generation to be lazy, couch-potatos. Now, I'm not saying that a mother can't go to work or a father stay home when it is completely necissary. We obviously can't let kids starve or dump them on a babysitter all the time. But to just ignore a child's emotional or physical needs just because we want to do something else is just selfish. It's not so much about stereotypes as it is about what is good for the future.
It is funny that I just read this thread because I'm in a college US History class, though I'm in HS and we recently read about how different roles were changing after the revolutionary war. Aerynn's comment was kind of an impression of the day back in the 1880's. Women were respected for being the one's to raise the children and while doing so they educated them, intstilled moral's and values, and tought them to be virtuous, a requirment for the democracy. It is interesting to see how different roles change throughout the ages, due to gender, race, or religion.
Boys who cry are also considered "girly". This is ridiculous. Everyone cries just as everyone breathes. Some people may be prone to shedding tears more so than others but it should have nothing to do with their gender. Also, though the majority of toys are not unisex, there is logic in their production. More boys than girls enjoy sword fights and action figures and more girls than boys like Barbie dolls and dress-up. This does not mean that these activities are ONLY for one or the other, however. I used to play with Hotwheels when I was little and I liked every minute of it. This did not make me less of a girl, just less "girly" by societal standards.
I think the most important thing that has influenced such sterotypes is based upon religious beliefs. Throughout the bible, it is very clear what each gender is to do. The man is the sole breadwinner. The woman is the caregiver for their multitude of children. It's difficult to change beliefs that have been engrained into our minds.
My friends learned not to stereotype me. They figured it wasn't worth the bruises. They still love me the same as they would if I were that girlie girl, so really gender stereotyping doesn't really affect me. Though one of my best friends who is also a girl strives and seems to survive on what a girl is suposed to be and it kind of makes me mad because she's not being herself. Sorry I'm a little weird so those are my thoughts on the subject
I think that this site is a stereotype. I have found that this site has predominatly girl members and is geared more towards girls. It seems to me like whoever runs this site thinks that girls are the only ones who read and get involved in their reading. They should change that.
Standing up for the guys!!
-Jake
I think that girls lumps are getting to big!
Okay, so I'mma just gonna rant for a little bit, 'cause this is an issue that really ticks me off... And by the way, we aren't just stereotyped by gender differences, as you'll see if you read all of this.
When I was in the fourth grade, I wore boys' jeans. In all seriousness. I went into the boys' department and bought jeans. And back in the day, I was made fun of for it. But I honsetly didn't, and still don't, care. I was "chubby" when I was younger. I thought these jeans were comfortable, and that's all that mattered to me when I was ten. I didn't care that I wasn't some girly-girl who was obsessed with the color pink and had to have my fingernails painted alternating colors evey week. That just wasn't me, and it still isn't.
Oh, but THEN I get to the Middle School. I stopped wearing boys' jeans, but I was still chubby. And, boy, did I get reidculed for THAT! I WAS TEN. GOING ON ELEVEN. EXCUSE ME FOR ENJOYING FOOD. (Which I still do.) If it weren't for the amazing friends I'd made in the Middle School and the two friends I actually kept from the Elementary Center (all of whom are still my besties to this very day), I'd have been crying everyday in the bathroom. All those little girls were obsessed with Brittney Spears, those magazines that brand the images of anorexic/bulemic models into one's mind, and dating, of all things. Me? I was obsessed with reading, writing, playing music, and getting good grades. (I'm nerdy. What's it to ya?)
While in the Middle School, the sixth grade to be exact, I was introduced to the world of cliques -- stereotypes with fences. Otherwise known as "The Farm." (Y'know -- you can let the sheep and the pigs together and whatnot?) I fell into a "category-less" category -- an outcast. I was smart, which made me a "Prep." But I was nonconformist, which made me a "Bad @ss." (Don't get all excited. I cursed and had an anger problem. I didn't try to burn down the school or anything like that.) And since the two didn't interact at all, I was stuck in the middle, with one of my best friends, who was "Preppy" and not at all a "Bad @ss" (at the time), but chose to turn her back on stereotypes all together.
When seventh grade came, I was stereotyped by... *dramatic music* ...THE SCHOOL DISTRICT. I was shoved into the "Accelerated Section." We were the "smart kids" who had extracurricular activities spewing out of our noses. The "teachers' pets." The "we're-better-than-you-are's." Ironically, there was absolutely no need for my friend from the sixth grade and I (plus the two from my Elementary years) to separate ourselves from the class; they were ALL different and unique -- their own people with unique personalities who accepted everyone else for who they were and were not. Being with them for the seventh and eighth grade was honestly the best experience in the Middle School.
High School. Maximum Security Prison. Translation: Stereotypes with unpenetrable walls of steel, cement, brick, and glass doors that I sometimes walk into. Freshie Year -- I was still an "accelerated student." I took all the advanced courses I could. I was looked down upon by those in my grade because was "ahead of them." (I have to say, though, that it was funny as all h*ll to see the confused looks on the older students' faces when they realized I was younger.) I joined the Marching Band's Flag Squad. I was looked down upon for THAT because the Flags were, as a whole, a bunch of screw-ups and screw-arounds.
Sophomore Year -- still accelerated and grateful for it. (Made some pretty frickin' awesome friends, if I do say so myself!) Still a Flag and still looked down upon for it. (Hey, the Squad just kept getting worse. There were, like, five of us that actually gave a care.) Joined Concert Band and loved for it. (Seriously. The Band Director was amazed that I was on the level I was on even though I hadn't played since the eighth grade. Not to mention the entire Band was happy that they'd actually gotten their hands on a Flag. (As far as I know, a Flag has never both been a Flag and played in Concert band simultaneously.)) Joined the school paper and exiled by the Veteran Staff. (They were a bunch of morons who couldn't write to save their lives. Our Adviser basically rewrote all their stories before they were published. It was like these seniors had epileptic(sp?) fits while they were writing. Not to mention they disliked me because I was "TOO opinionated" for them.)
Junior Year. (The Present.) Accelerated and taking AP courses. (This year is the exception for me enjoying taking advanced courses. I sorts-kinda... overdid it. And now I have to drop AP US before I kill myself.) Still a Flag and HATED (by most of the younger girls)/ADMIRED (by the Band and Majorette Squad) for it. (Next year I'll be Captain. We're having a Reformation of the likes that Martin Luther has never even dreamed of! (HOLY F#%&! Did I get the Martin-Luther-thing right?!) Everyone knows that I've got plans for the Squad... *maniacal(sp?) laugh*) Still a flautist and PRESSURED by it. (The Band Director has me auditioning for County Band. He didn't even ask. He just gave me the audition piece and told me to practice the scales that I absolutely suck at. (My words, not his.) The rest of the Band wants me to give up on the Flag Sqaud and join Band because they won't have any (GOOD) senior flutes next year. (I'm actually really on the fence about this one...)) Still writing for the paper and DYING from it. (I won't go into all the problems... If you've ever seen MTV's 'The Paper,' then you've seen what mine is like. I'm Opinion Editor for the Paper and an Editor-in-Chief (I was TRICKED into that one!) for the District Newletter. Talk about stress when the younger staffers don't get stuff done.)
And when it comes to my family (my biological father and his family), I'm not supposed to go anywhere in life. I'm supposed to get knocked up, drop out of High School, and be stuck in Nowhere-ville forever. (They're in for a rude awakening...)
Now, I'm well aware that I've just told my entire self-history, but you see how steryotypes can affect a person. According to stereotypes I am supposed to be, bot matter how contradicting: absolutely nothing by the standards of society; one of the most successful people of my generation; academically-challenged; Valedictorian/Saludatorian/somewhere in the top of my class; a moron; a virgin; a poor writer journalistically; an idiot who can't march, count by fours, spin a five-foot-pole, or even name the instruments; a music-playing genius.
Yet, who am I? No one truly knows. Due to the haze that stereotypes have created, a very select few people can actually state and understand who I am.
Can YOU figure it out?
I don't like stereotypes either. But I have to admitt, we (including myself) can all stereotype each other. There are many stereotypes that girls can face. First of all, clothes. I wear Hollister and Abercrombie from time to time, but I usually wear sweatshirts, graphic T's, tennis shoes, and flare jeans. When people look down upon girls because they don't wear the perfect clothes are just plain stupid. Girls don't have to look like barbie dolls wherever they go, I don't always look perfect with makeup. So what? We're still girls.
As for girls being weak because we show our emotions, that's bogus. Girls show their emotions instead of keeping it bottled up inside like guys sometimes do. (*sometimes*, guys can be emotional too) Girls can be just as strong as guys, considering how much pressure we have to be perfect. But, what is perfect? Silky smooth hair? Most expensive clothes? Always wearing makeup? Not doing dirty work?(come on! I want to be a vet someday!) Doing as your told?(That's not always possible for me. ;)) Girls can wear whatever they want, do whatever they want, play whatever sport they want, and BE whoever they want. Girls can be just as good a punter in football as a guy. Girls can do work just as well as guys too. We are reliable, organized, and powerful. I believe now, our job finding oppurtunities are much better than they used to be last century, but there is still discrimination. It never matters what we want to be when we grow up. Some want to be princesses, others soldiers. Some want to be writers, others stay at home moms. We're all girls, and from what I've read in the dictionary, there isn't an exact definition as to what we should wear, what we should only do, and what makes up the characteristics of a perfect girl. The only girl that is perfect, is the one who lives how she wants to live, and views herself as perfect in every way. You are perfect in your own way. No questions asked.