Ruby Oliver here. You asked my advice, and I am telling you all again:
Kiss the boy you like who seems like he might be only a friend. Or hold his hand. All this wondering and lolling around: if we act like that, how are we girls going to be president and run our own businesses and change the world? We have to take action and MAKE THE MOVE even if it is scary.
If he doesn't like you, you will at least LIKE YOURSELF for going after what you want and not being a wimp about it. And if he does like you: yippee.
Another thing I am telling you again:
I am not an expert. In anything. I am seventeen year-old mental patient/social leper. Also, I am fictional. I am the heroine of The Boyfriend List, The Boy Book and The Treasure Map of Boys. Plus Real Live Boyfriends, which comes out December, 2010. All books by E. Lockhart.
Here's where you can read all about E. Lockhart: www.e-lockhart.com.
Okay. Enough about her.
The point is:
I am in no way qualified to give advice to the lovelorn. Or to anyone really. My life is a complete debacle. And if you want to know how really really bad it is, read the books.
Still -- you guys asked my advice, so I'm gonna try to answer.
(Secretly, I like it. Makes me feel like less of a leper.)
xoxoxoxox
Roo
How do you get back a good friend? :(
I am the last person on earth to give a good answer to this. I have lost all my friends. Or nearly all. It is seriously depressing and lead me to have horrible panic attacks where I had to go see a shrink. So all I can say is, you are NOT ALONE. Other people (translation: me) have experienced this horror and lived to tell the tale.
You might try a sincere apology, the kind where you don't say: "Sorry, but it was kind of really annoying what you did." Or "Sorry, but I just couldn't help it because…."
Just a full-out "sorry" with no "buts."
That didn't work at all when Nora was mad at me. But then later, much later, it sunk in and we made friends again.
What's your fave accessory?
My glasses. I can't see without them but they are also cool.
Dear Ruby, What are you supposed to do when all your friends seem to be dating but you've never even kissed a boy? It feels like it'll never happen!!!
This is not my problem as I have kissed a lot of guys. But my first kiss was with someone totally icky to me, and really it would have been way better to wait and have a pleasant one. It practically put me off kissing for life and you can read all about it in The Boyfriend List.
However, of you look on E. Lockhart's blog (www.theboyfriendlist.com) in the sidebar, you will see that she didn't kiss anyone until she was sixteen. And after that she really had zero problem finding people to kiss. She might have even overdone it a bit in college.
So it's probably okay. Just seriously irritating waiting around.
I have a problem. I fall for a guy way to fast and get to attached. Then inevitable I get hurt. I'm almost ready to just give up and be that lady that lives alone except for 50 cats to keep her company... and I hate cats. Is there anything I can do to fix my little problem?
Honestly, it sounds like you have Issues. And I say that with love! Because I am a person with a giant freaking pile of Issues.
What I mean is, there is probably some deep down reason you are falling for a guy and getting superattached way fast. I dunno. My shrink Doctor Z would probably make me write in a journal or something, and think a lot about my dad and other grownup men in my life and what I might be reacting to when I deal with guys. Like, is there a pattern I'm repeating from when I was a little kid? Or is there some kind of hole or need I'm wanting to fill?
I know this sounds completely shrinky, but hey -- I see a shrink. And sometimes her ideas are good. Not easy to hear, but good.
How much stock should we put in fortune cookie fortunes?
Fortune cookies are lacking in deliciousness and therefore pretty low on my scale of pastry-type goodness. If a fortune came out of a double chocolate macadamia cookie, that would be worth considering very seriously. But if you don't really want to eat the cookie, I wouldn't listen much to the fortune inside.
Hey Ruby, will zits ever go away?
Yes!
At least, this is what people tell me.
I still have them myself.
If you look at pictures of my dad, Kevin, when he was in high school, he was COMPLETELY COVERED IN GIANT ZITS. Seriously. Like his face was swollen up with them and they were oozy and really bad. But now he's like an old married guy and has no zits at all.
Dear Ruby, I have a problem. I've discovered that the only time I can have an articulate conversation with guy is when I'm not directly talking to him. ei: email, AIM, phone. However, when I try to talk to them face to face I can't think of anything to say. What should I do?
If you can talk to him on the phone, you'll eventually be able to talk to him in person. Boys are famous for being lame phone conversationalists. So really, you've mastered the hardest part of boy-chat already.
I think you should forget trying to be articulate and just say: Do you want to go see a movie with me on Saturday? Then if he says yes, you can talk about what to see, and when you go out you will talk about the movie.
And you will have a date!
If he says no, you can crawl into a hole, lick your wounds, and cheer up by remembering you are an awesome person who made a bold move and didn't lie around being a passive noodle.
Oh!
Another thing.
I have sometimes filled awkward silences with kissing. I do not really recommend this practice, as it has gotten me into some trouble, actually. But sometimes it works and is extremely fun. If he is not attached and you are not attached and it is not going to ruin your whole entire social life if you kiss him.
Happy holidays!
Xo
Ruby